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81: Want to be a property millionaire and prosper - stay married!

08-05-2006 team


Warning: this article gives a male perspective on the financial benefits of keeping your marriage in good shape, and on the financial disadvantages of divorce.  However, many of the principles still apply if you are a woman property investor and/or if you are the principal wealth-earner in your relationship!


One of the single most financially damaging and value destroying things in life for a private property investor is divorce. If you want to lose half your wealth then get into a “losers low growth mode” - the quickest way to this is to get divorced. You might wrongly believe you’ll have more money and free time if you got divorced, but you'll almost certainly find the opposite. You’ll be on your own, looking after yourself, with no morale or other support, with half your wealth or less, big legal bills, distractions, loss of self esteem and large maintenance bills – this is if you’re lucky! If you are the non-“bread winner” life likely will not be any better – smaller home, less money, less support, no sharing, potential loneliness and boredom.


Women follow winners and hate losers

If you are the sort of person that is always feeling sorry for themselves, is pessimistic and shows the attributes of a loser – you’ll may find your partner goes and finds someone else after a while. It’s basic human nature for a women to back a winner – probably related to reproduction, genes and the “nesting instinct”. Pretty sure Darwin would have agreed – women choose winners, not losers. So if you want to be wealthy and keep your wife – the two often go hand-in-hand – then act like a winner, not a loser. She’ll back you all the way. If you act like a loser – she’ll drop you rapidly! 


Money talks

Ever notice how some fairly ugly looking but wealthy older men have beautiful young wives? Women tend to gravitate towards wealth and money – again, it’s possibly related to the good old fashioned nesting instinct. To provide for your offspring, it’s quite important to have enough wealth to give your children a good up-bringing. It would be highly risky for a woman to marry someone who they knew would always be in poverty – it happens of course, but it’s rather the exception. So if you can act like a winner and get wealthy, it’s likely you’ll keep your partner happy. She won’t want to risk dropping a wealthy winner – when she might end up with a poor loser!


Don’t hide things

If you believe you are doing the honourable thing by hiding things from your wife, you’ll probably find one day that this strategy back-fires. It’s particularly true of financial problems. If you can see a financial problem occurring in say four months time, give your wife advance warning. Do not conceal it. If she gets a surprise after the problem has arisen, she’ll be livid. It's like being a mother bird and one day, you fly back to your chicks and find the nest has gone because the father bird had not told you he had to sell it to pay off the bills. Best warn the mother bird well in advance – and then she will have the opportunity to help solve the problem, or at least react to it (e.g. spending less money).


Don’t have affairs!

If you think you can have an affair and keep it quiet, you’re mistaken. The minute someone spots you, it’ll likely get back to your wife – some time or other. This is true the other way around of course. To cheat on your partner is a pretty miserable thing to do. You’d also be cheating on your children as well. If you get a rush of blood one day – hold back – let the hormones settle and think twice. If you are already a millionaire property investor – one kiss – one photograph - could lose you half your hard earned wealth! It’s a huge business risk. It can collapse your property empire. Don’t do it, even if you want to end everything. And, once you’re caught, the divorce lawyers will have a field day! You won’t have a leg to stand on. You’ll be the loser. And remember, women back winners not losers!


And if you "do" have an affair, then tell your wife, it's likely she will stay with you - but she will never ever forget it or forgive you for it. She might not talk about it, but she will always live with this. It's also true the other way around. Once someone has proved they are capable of such behaviour, it's human nature to not trust again. It's rather logical and statistical. Once a cheat - likely to stay a cheat!  Same with winners and losers! 


Treat your partner with respect

It’s a common thread throughout humanity – people want and need to be treated with respect. Listen, communicate, acknowledge and treat your partner with positive respect. Failure to do this will affect the self esteem of your partner, make them feel insecure and ultimately they will want to leave you. They will read these negative vibes and act – by then it will be too late. It’s extremely important to treat your partner as you like to be treated yourself – with respect. Motherhood and apple pie – but it’s worth remembering.


Mirror while you communicate

Try this one – mirror the body language of your partner and smile lots – laugh, joke and make your partner feel special. Notice the difference in their response to you. If you are positive, merry and listen to them, ask them questions, you’ll find your relationship will improve significantly. Remember, if you cannot develop the relationship and it ends up in the divorce courts, your property investment business will end there too.


Business Risk

Finally - the economic truth. A key business risk for private property investors is divorce. Manage the risk – follow the tennets of Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. Winners stay married. Manage your wife like a business risk – it takes time, energy, focus and effort. But it’s well worth it, if it succeeds!

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